Friday, April 9, 2010

I hate Mean Girls!

I'm so excited for Go Jane News, Oprah is featured today. Check it out HERE!!!

Today my sister, Dawn, will be gone for 6 years. Her birthday would have been a week ago and she would be 50. Dawn lost her life due to great loss & sadness. Which led to an eating disorder, (not because she wanted to be thin, she already was perfect),  and depression which she self medicated with Vodka and cigarettes. I hope my parents don't read this one. My hands tremble as I type. I miss her but I know she watches me and my family from Heaven. Dawn was supposed to be a chef and go on to a great life but a sequence of events stopped her in her tracks. I've started a foundation in her name and plan to donate the proceeds from my next novel, which will be dedicated to her. I love you Dawn.

It is my mission to educate and try to help anyone in a similar situation. Life can be hard. Why be mean? I won't stand for it. I love all you bloggers! And thank you so much for  your support, comments and friendship. But for every 100 of you there is always a hater. I know you don't want me to feed the trolls but I simply won't be bullied. And I won't allow anyone else to! If I can help 1 person, or 10 or 100 my life has  meaning. And  not just having the boys, help someone else I don't know.  I won't tolerate mean girls. I don't like it. I don't care if you don't like me, I really don't. But, I will call you out on your behavior.

Monday, in my final post on being beth dunn an anonymous comment was left "Why didn't you eat at Merion Cricket Club, oh that's right, you're not a member."

1st of all, you read my blog and go out of your way to leave a comment-pathetic.
2ndly are you in 7th grade?
3rdly do you think you are cool to belong to a club? My memberships don't define who I am as a person.
4thly Why would I belong to a club that is 1 1/2 hours away from me?

Read between the lines!

Collars up,

SC

68 comments:

  1. Oh my word, I am so sorry about your sister, but that is great you've started a foundation in her name. And for the mean comment, apparently they don't have enough to do. You are such a fabulous person who is touching so many lives! Hope you have a great day!

    Also, I'm hosting a giveaway on my blog right now!

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  2. Right on!! I hate drive by snarky comments like that. Anonymous people hiding behind there computers. Lame.
    On a happier note, I hope you have a wonderful weekend :-)
    Bonne chance!

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  3. I so enjoy reading your blog! Loved "Social Climbers" and can't wait for it to be a movie!! Mean girls are best ignored-that really takes the wind out of their sails.

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  4. I am sorry to hear about your sister, Beth. My Mom died almost four years ago and I still think about and miss her every single day. Just after she died, my sisters and I set up a scholarship for a local student to be put through college. It's something little for us, but it could be, hopefully, life changing for someone who might not have had that chance otherwise.

    It always makes me giggle at how haters NEVER post under their real name!

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  5. I am so sorry for your loss...I think starting an organization in her name to help others with their pain is lovely. ((((hugs))) to you!

    I have had one instance of Anon. comments and I also, responded openly because mean girls are just that...mean! Bleck!

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  6. Thank you for standing up to all those mean girls! I am really sorry for your loss, you and your family are in my prayers. My sister has an eating disorder, but thank god she is getting healthy. Life is unpredictable, that's for sure! Keep writing positive things, your blog always makes my day!! xoxo

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  7. You just focus on Dawn and the good you can do on her behalf!

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  8. ((BIG HUGS)) to you, and I know your sister is watching over you and your family. Remember the good times with her, and how wonderful that you set up a foundation to honor her memory. You're a class act, BD! :-)

    About the mean girls....they need to go find something else to do! Like....play in traffic?!!?!? LOL

    Happy Friday, have a great weekend! XOXO

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  9. Hi Beth, So sorry for your loss. Eating disorders & mental illness are so misunderstood, but treatable...but the suffering is so real...You are to be commended for being so positive & standing up to loser, mean people! You are under their skin!Your book has brought much joy & laughter...& you introduced me to the world of blogging...so hats off to you! You are more classy by carrying on after your sister's passing & doing good in her memory. We all need to hold our loved ones closer...& live in the present...love and [[hugs]] xoxo Jennifer aka Gigi

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  10. sorry about your sister. i lost someone i cared about years ago too. its a sad situation. i also hate bullies and mean people. they need to get a life. why do they concern themselves so much with what you do. once again, get a life. i dont like to "feed the trolls" either (i love that phrase) but damn it i need to say what i feel sometimes.

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  11. What a beautiful way to pay tribute to your sister! You are a wonderful person with a very kind heart, don't pay attention to the haters out there, Beth. There lives must really stink to have to take out their aggressions anonymously through a blog but good for you for not being bullied.
    There is enough of that in our world, no need for more!

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  12. I'm sorry to hear about your sister. May she rest in peace....

    As for the mean girls, well, they'll always be there. Always. I just ignore them. It's hard. I cleaned house, so to speak, in my personal life and have felt lighter and more positive ever since! I pity those girls, just pity their pathetic lives.

    Thanks for the funny picture - it made me giggle :) :)

    Cheers,
    sHp

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  13. Well said, friend and I’m so sorry about your sister. She is definitely looking down on your from above and kudos to you for starting a foundation in her name.

    I cannot believe that someone actually left that comment on your blog. We’ve all worked hard to build a good community in the blog world and for people to come and spew their hate is just frustrating.

    Thinking of you…xoxo

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  14. Bullies are so ridiculous but i love how you called them trolls (lol) So true Ive had a few leave comments on my blog too ! It's like hello really you dont even know me and your going to take the time to leave a nasty comment come on peeps grow up already so sorry you have to deal with that but a big applaud to you for not putting up with it !!

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  15. I so sorry Beth. Dawn is very fortunate to have a wonderful sister like you. She will not be forgotten,and the help you are providing for others is wonderful! Blessings to you,your family and friends that miss her!

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  17. What you're doing in your sister's memory is wonderful. And your handling of "mean girls" is superb. So sad to cut others down only to make oneself feel better and that's exactly what they do! xoxo

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  18. Dawn is looking down and laughing with you and sending bad things towards that commented. xo

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  19. (((Beth))) Thinking of you and Dawn today sending lots of happy thoughts your way.

    As far as the mean girls, well, this person is insecure and has to hide behind an internet post to make herself feel better. It's her loss not to be your fabulous friend because you are a beautiful person, inside and outside.

    xoxo

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  20. Beth you rock!!!! As for bullying my motto is zero tolerance. Zero. I've been on the receiving end, it stays with you and it's not fun. To paraphrase the t-shirt, mean girls drool and nice girls rule!

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  21. Your sisters story is sad and good for you to talk about it! I have a sister who is a registered dietitian and works with college girls with eating disorders....yes, every one of them have OTHER underlying issues that are usually ignored. Rest her soul.

    ....as for mean girls....to H#%& with them!!!

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  22. Hi Beth--I'm sorry about the loss of your sister. It is good that you're able to turn your grief into something good for others.

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  23. Beth, So many thoughts...

    First, I am so sorry for your loss of Dawn. I am so happy that you know she is watching and protecting you from above!

    Second, read between the lines is so classic! I love it!

    Third, your boots are divine. I wear a 9! If they would fit me, I might be driving to Jersey!

    Forth, Have you seen how those mean girls are being called out on National tv over the suicide of the beautiful Massachusetts teenager? It is disgraceful Unfortunately, it will always be around. We MUST stand strong and teach our children the proper way to treat people.

    Hold Your head up high, Beth Dunn! You are a class act!

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  24. Beth, I am SO sorry to hear about your sister. I am also sorry about the anonymous poster. I am a member of MCC, and I am troubled that a fellow member would ever treat you that way. I apologize on all the OTHER members behalves. Belonging to a club does not give anyone the right to be mean, and I am sorry that she had to treat you that way and disrespect our club at the same time. Thanks for nothing anonymous!!

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  25. Beth, I am so sorry to hear about your sister. You know that she is watching you and is proud of all you do. I think your foundation is a wonderful thing to do in her honor.
    As for mean girls...you tell 'em sister! Ugh...I mean why bother!? People are so irking sometimes. I hope you have a fab Friday! xoxo

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  26. I am sorry about you sister, and I am so glad you are standing up for yourself. I am sure you have read that I have been getting a couple nasty comments and all over the blogging world I see comments like that and they make me want to scream.

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  27. I love how you just face things head on. You live your life so openly! That is inspiration enough for others. There will always be mean girls, but teaching people to have the courage to face them is priceless.

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  28. Beth, ((hugs)) to you for your loss. What you have done with the grief is wonderful! As for mean people, they either hate themselves or are envious of others and want to take it out on them. When you remember this, it's easy to let the comments be. Continue doing what you are doing and you will ALWAYS be the better person!

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  29. Pit Bull...my guess is that Anon. wanker is not a Member of Merion either...just a frustrated and angry little person.
    Beth, well done on all fronts.

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  30. I am so sorry for the loss of your precious sister. Sending big hugs your way!
    I must say that I love this post. I, too, have NO PATIENCE for the mean girls. I have seen it before in blogging, and now on Twitter. Why are some people so concerned with other people's business?
    xoxo

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  31. This is why I LOVE blog land. You are all SO wonderful and touch my heart in a way I hope one day to be able to put into words but for now will be-THANK YOU! We can all stick together and fight off the trolls. Love you blog friends LOVE!
    xoxo
    SC

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  32. I have only recently discovered your wonderful blog and I had to order your book. I finished it in two days (really, I shouldn't have that much free time). It was delightfully entertaining and completely charming. I had to tell my sister-in-law to go get a copy...she grew up in Ocean City but now lives in Mays Landing.
    My sympathies for the loss of your sister.
    My cheers for the ways you stand up to the mean girls.
    smiles,
    Wendy

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  33. I'm so sorry about your sister. My old boyfriend/very good friend just committed suicide a few weeks ago & I'm struggling with that loss & trying to get my head around that.
    I can't imagine losing a sibling--My heart is heavy for you. I have no patience for mean girls in real life or blog land. I'm your blog friend--always. :) xox MBM

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  34. Your words are so inspiring, especially for a college girl like myself who literally is SURROUNDED by mean girls all day long. It can be so tough to keep your head up, but I truly believe that when people see how successful and strong you are, (like yourself), they will try at any chance they get to hit you in a weak spot, (which luckily you have none!)

    Quite frankly, you should be honored that you have "haters." If people are reading your blog and STILL don't like you...they are clearly jealous that your inspiring so many people while they sit and do nothing.

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  35. Your post is one of the reasons I love blogs so much! I am so sorry for your loss, but I am grateful to have a snapshot of your sister. I will keep her in my thoughts and prayers. Love your blog! And I HATE mean girls - good for you.
    Best,
    Colleen

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  36. Rock on!! No one likes a hater!! Your blog always brightens my day and reminds me of home (Main Line, which I def don't get enough of in California.) Thank you for being yourself!!

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  37. I am very sorry about your sister, that's a sad loss for your family.

    As far as the cricket club remark, I had flashbacks of daquari's and table tennis tournaments, no where but the main line do you get a catty comment like that.

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  38. i'm so sorry for your loss. i can't even begin to imagine what it's like to lose a sister. my sister is my best friend. the foundation is a wonderful opportunity to help others and to keep Dawn's memory alive. you are an inspiration and an amazing woman. i've also received some negative comments in the past. i don't take them to heart and instead just shrug them off. like one of my fav songs, "Ain't nothin' gonna break my stride. Nobody's gonna slow me down, oh-no, I got to keep on movin'"
    take care.

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  39. So sorry to hear about your sister. And what a wonderful thing you are doing in creating the foundation in her name! For some reason, the thought of mean girls popped in my head today and some of the taunts I endured in grade school. I hope my daughter doesn't experience that. How sad that people feel the need to reach out to simply be mean. How much they must hate themselves. Just continue to live a good life, Beth - that's the best revenge!

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  40. **HUGS** I'm so sorry about your loss, but also happy that you're taken something so tragic and turned it around into a foundation and way to help others. As for the mean girls, ugh, they'll never go away because someone will always be jealous of the fabulous! Have an amazing weekend - can't wait to read about it! :)

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  41. Brava Beth!! I am sorry for your loss. xoxo

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  42. my sympathies for the loss of your sister....
    AND i guess there is no age-limit to bullying. SOME PEOPLE! But boy, do you look good in those boots!!... that's revenge enough right there, girlfriend!

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  43. My heart aches for you dear Beth and the pain involved in losing your precious sister. I'm so happy you have turned that tragedy into a foundation to help others. God bless you.

    I was watchin' a segment on the Today Show this mornin' about the 'Mommy Blogs' and how people make personal attacks toward certain posts taking people back to High School and the attack of the mean girls. My motto is if you can't say something helpful, nice or uplifting...ZIP IT PEOPLE AND GROW UP!!!

    I personally got a hoot out of your "read between the lines." Good one sweet lady.

    You have yourself a wonderful weekend my friend.

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  44. Beth I just love you! Sorry about your sister. I am glad you have found such a meaningful way to honor her memory. Ignore the haters. I just can't fathom why someone would spend the time and energy posting lame comments on someone's blog. Hugs!

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  45. I'll bet you ANYTHING that these 'trolls' know you and are sooo sweet to your face, but are actually jealous. They're cowards so they leave their blogs 'anonymously' of course. If they don't like you or have something they need to say to you, why don't they just e-mail you? ((Sigh)). I don't get it. There are very, very few people that I don't like, but if it gets that far then the most I do is just ignore them. Why can't they do that?

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  46. Great big Hugs Beth!!! I am so sorry about your sister. As far as the "read between the lines" ... LOL... You go girl!

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  47. I'm so sorry to hear about your sister...how very tragic. I don't see why people have to be mean to others....does it really make them feel better about themselves to belittle someone? It's sad. Did you read the story about the Phoebe Prince, the little girl from Ireland that was picked on so badly by the mean girls at her school that she killed herself? That is just senseless. One day, those "mean girls" are going to get their comeuppance.

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  48. Your sister would be very proud of you. xoxo

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  49. I miss my dad every day. He left this world much too young as well. It is comforting to know that they are up in heaven watching over us, isn't it. Although selfishly...I sure wish he was down here with me :)

    Part of me chuckles when I read about these anonymous comments. Not because what they say is funny or should be tolerated, but because they are obviously so very jealous of you. Well, let's be honest...I'm jealous of you! hahaha...I mean that in the most complimentary of ways, of course :) Anyway, these mean girls must realy have boring lives. And, no matter what club they may be a member of...they surely haven't got any manners. For shame anonymous blogger!! Those with class treat everyone with kindness and respect.

    Perhaps they need to spend less time putting nasty comments on your blog Beth, and dedicate that time to writing a clever and witty book of their own? Hmmmm...

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  50. Beth, I am sorry for your loss and pain.

    Always Bumby

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  51. That's so sad about your sister.
    I agree with you though, mean girls are synonymous with seventh grade.

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  52. I'm sure this is going to set off another mean girl alert (because being anon = troll, right?) but in my humble opinion it would have honored your sister more to have not included mention of the MCC remark.

    I'm very sorry for your loss and I hope that you are able to raise a lot of money to help others. My motto is "Giving well is the best revenge."

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  53. What a *itch!

    I'm so sorry about your sister.

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  54. So sorry about your sister....I hate mean girls...my youngest daughter and her best friend are just starting to experience the oppression of mean girls in their lives and even though I've lived through it, it still infuriates me...just yesterday I told them, "Never, ever let anyone make you feel bad about yourself"...stealing someone else's self esteem is an unpardonable crime...honestly, if it doesn't uplift someone or is innocuous, JUST DON"T SAY IT....

    obviously mean girls never grow up...the evolve into something even uglier....

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  55. I understand the loss of a sibling. I lost my younger brother 27 years ago. (we were kids and shared a birthday) Not a day goes by that I don't think of him. {HUGS}
    Mean people need to get lives and worry about more important things! Love you, your book and blog! I am thankful for our friendship.

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  56. Oh, you go girl! You truly do rock. Oh yes, I speak collars up.

    I'm so sorry you lost your sister way too soon. I lost my best friend (she was 51) of 27 years, 4 years ago this month and I'm still trying to understand why she would drink herself to death when she had it all. The right family, the right address, the right husband. But I know deep inside that it was the mean girls, who she had grown up with & was forced to be friends with (because of family & money ties). She made friends with me because I was fun & never gave a flip what anyone thought.

    But, you're so right! People like the mean girls are still in junior high school, only morphed into some weird Stephen King-like character. I deal with them on a daily basis here, where I live. As a matter of fact, I'm invited to a wedding shower for a friend's daughter (I've known her since her birth) that I simply refuse to go to because I know all of the women who are giving it and I just don't have the time left to waste on being treated like I'm nothing because I'm not part of their *crowd*. I don't kiss anyone's tush, which is probably the reason for my low level of popularity with the mean girls. They are a very controlling group of women. Frankly, I'd rather have rusty nails driven under my toenails than be around this group of women.

    I'm glad to see you've found your voice, so to speak. And your cause. Bravo! I'll buy a copy! It's amazing what anger & despair can drive us to do, as women.

    Oh, and I finished your book while in WeHo (Lala Land) and took a picture of it in my boutique hotel room, which will be on my blog tomorrow. In my opinion, you're the toast of Hollywood, Baby! And all points beyond....

    And, just in case it matters, I love to mess with trolls. I mess with them until they run screaming from my blog. Just a hobby, you know. But, a fun hobby.

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  57. So, so sorry for your loss of your sister. I almost lost my sister to similar circumstances a couple of years back but thankfully she did survive. It is so hard to see someone you love suffer.
    Mean girls are the worst. In the last month two seperate lovely ladies have shared Mean Girl stories with me that broke my heart. Good for you for standing up for yourself.
    xoxo

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  58. I would like to express my condolences concerning the loss of your sister. I know an "I'm sorry" cannot bring her back, but I also hope knowing your "blends" truly care does help make the day just a tad easier. You're doing amazing work, keeping up her memory while talking about her problems and trying to help others avoid the same pitfalls.

    You, Beth Dunn, are amazing. One of the reason's I have been so drawn to your blog is because of the kindness and heart that oozes from every post. You accept us all as we are, even if there isn't a stitch of Lily in our closet. Keep it up. We (I) love you for it.

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  59. Beth Darling,
    I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved sister.

    As for the hater - I love all the comments above - all so perfect and funny and supportive! How wonderful for you to know that so many friends, aquaintences and bloggers whom you have never met, LOVE you! Can anon-wanker say that? I think not - maybe her cats like her (because she feeds them).

    You are a smile in my day!

    Rock on with your beautiful self!!!!
    Collars Up!

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  60. YOU ROCK, Beth Dunn! At first, I thought: I like this woman. She's a lot like me: preppy, honest and clearly has excellent taste. Today, I have just found out that we've got more in common that I ever thought. I have two sisters and could not imagine my life without them. My heart goes out to you for the loss of your sister. One of my sister's suffered from depression and it's a hard, hard road. Grateful for good medicine and great therapy, as she lives a much healthier life today.
    A note on bullies: ANYONE POSTING ANNONYMOUSLY IS A COWARD.
    COLLARS UP!

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  61. It is interesting to me that you make the assumption that the anon person was a Merion member and a female. Maybe anon is neither!

    Not everyone that reads a blog has a blog. Or an AIM. Or a Google account. Or a Twitter. Some of us are just readers. In those cases does it matter what name we use? Probably not. And if you hate anon comments, then isn't there a thingy that makes you not allow them? Of course then people like me would have to probably register somewhere.

    I really feel for your loss of your sister. I'm sure that she is looking down upon you and is proud of what you have become and of the things that you have yet to accomplish. You are adorable.

    Here's a selfish request: after having read your book and being intrigued by your bio on the book jacket, would love to see your debutante photos. Please?!?! It might cheer you up!

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  62. OMG You are hyster Chris. I'll dig 'em out just for you. Pretty scary sight as I had bad 80's hair but I'll do it cause you asked so nicely!
    xoxo
    SC

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  63. Beth, I am very sorry to hear about your sister Dawn. That must be very hard and you must miss her so much.

    As for the mean girls - I was thinking about that the other day and how I would react to the former school bullies if I came across one today. Funnily, I met one today and left her standing in the middle of the street with the words 'I am not even talking to you'.

    Can't tell you how good that felt :)

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  64. Beth, lots of prayers out to you and what a beautiful post. You know your sister is so very proud of you. I am so very sorry as well.

    I absolutely LOVE "read between the lines" you ROCK!!

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  65. Great post! I am so sorry to hear about your sister; that's hard.
    Re:mean girls, I totally agree with you - and it seems, unfortunately, now matter how old we are, there are always those immature girls. It's taken me awhile, but I've finally learned how to disengage myself and cut those people out of my life. You go girl!

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  66. Dear Beth,

    Your blog has such a fun and light and snarky (I say that with love) air about it. But your post today really hit me. It is profoundly defining. To me, today's post is the ultimate example of why your posts about Kate Spade tights are so fabulous. It is because you know that they are just Kate Spade tights. Very. Cool. Kate. Spade.

    The petty mean spiritedness that you described has been consuming me, more than usual, this week. My 11 year old daughter is the victim of bullying at the hands of another girl in her fifth grade classroom. I believe that my daughter is working her way through this situation but I'm torn about what actions I should take. Phoebe Prince, the 15 year old girl in South Hadley, Massachusetts, who hanged herself is constantly on my mind. Today I read about your sister. My daughter's teacher is fantastic and she is communicating with we are monitoring things but while it seems they take one step forward, there doesn't seem to be any real behavior changes. My little kid seems to be expanding her social reach. I hope that this bad experience fuels real growth but at some point I think it is my responsibility to call a spade a spade.

    My daughter is going to survive but what happens to the next girl?

    Is it my responsibility to get involved? Will it help? Would it save someone like Phoebe or your sister?

    Thank you so much for sharing your life. It makes me look at my own a bit closer (and it makes me want to dress better, too!)

    Warmest Appreciation,

    Denise Burks

    http://www.successinthesuburbs.com/

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  67. I wanted to extend my sympathy on the loss of your much loved and missed sister. The heart never forgets.

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Talk preppy to me! xoxo