Over the summer the regatta mother's and I discussed a subject I'd love your feedback on.
Husbands we like with bitchy wives.
How many times have you discussed a lady you know, perhaps one you don't like or disagree with certain actions and follow up the conversation with..."I really like her husband. He seems like such a great guy," ?????
I'm confident this has been said with regards to myself. But I was really surprised as we discussed this, how many times I've actually thought that about other couples. The point we were making is--it can't be that every "crazy" lady has a perfect husband. On some level the husbands must participate in "bad" behavior. Why do they get away with being a "great" guy while the wives take the brutal criticism.
A long time ago I formed a relationship belief of ying/yang. Opposites attract so naturally the mellow, great guy would have the "evil" wife. After further thought (and discussions this summer over long hours watching sailing), I'm rethinking my theory. #1 the husband can't always be perfect, #2 the ladies can't always be blamed for being bitchy. It is just too easy/simple to chalk it up to that.
How many times have you thought "Love the husband, but the wife?"
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Oh I think that's just life. Take a man and a woman who have a one night stand. They walk away Sunday morning with two different titles. He is a playboy and she is a sl@#. He gets a high five and giggles and she gets dirty looks and a doctor's apt. Men can be assertive and goal-oriented. Women are bitchy and nagging.
ReplyDeleteThen again women get to wear dresses and refuse to kill bugs. And I really hate killing bugs...
Huh. I'm just as likely to say, love the wife but what's with the husband?
ReplyDeletePerhaps, it may say something more about the "woman" who is saying "wow what a piece of work , but her husband is so sweet".
ReplyDeleteGenerally ALL women at some point in their life are somewhat critical of other women ... often of women who reflect a trait within themselves that they would rather not acknowledge (or perhaps are not aware they have). That's my 2 cents... great post , it really makes you think and "reflect on yourself" ... I'm certain I have been both the "what a piece of work" and the one saying it... HUGS... HHL
P.S. hosting a great cookbook giveaway pop by for a visit..
Generally speaking I find women to be more catty and competitive. Men are straight forward and don't waste their time gossiping about nonsense.
ReplyDeleteI think this all the time, to the point I can't even count how many times I've said "Women ruin perfectly good men!"
ReplyDeleteI am probably considered a bitch to my husband's former co-workers. Not becuase I was nasty to him but because I actually expected him to still do the things around the house he was supposed to do in spite of being a guy in sales constantly pulled towards happy hour.
ReplyDeleteToo funny. I guess it's 50/50 b/c I agree with LPC up above...I find myself thinking a lot how I like the wife but the husband is a dork/loser/a-hole. It's so nice when you find a couple that you adore both of them!
ReplyDeleteWow. Good one. I'm probably going to be shot for this, but I think of the Gosselins when I read your post. Jon was considered soooo sweet and she was considered Hell on wheels. Now we know, yeah, she's bitchy-but he's a tool.
ReplyDeleteI hate how hard we always are on the wife. My husband is known as the nice one I know. But, I get the rap for being 'mean' because I am just straight to the point. I don't say it behind your back. I say it flat out. I don't ride the fence on topics. I have an opinion.
ReplyDeleteThe funny thing someone just said to me they thought I was a mean girl growing up probably. HA HA HA. I was so not the mean girl. I didn't even know what that meant. I had girls that were so cruel to me. I see them on FB now and they are always dropping a scripture and praising Jesus. I have a hard time thinking they are really like that now when they use to freeze me out of their groups and exclude me often. It was rough!
I guess I would rather have an opinion and say it than tiptoe thru life trying to be known as the Melanie. I will take Scarlett anyday!
Men and women are Mars and Venus. The woman and woman thang....a whole other story. We can be so very critical can't we???
ReplyDeleteWhen ya figure it all out...give me a call! Heeehehehe!
Ya'll have a beautifully blessed "collars-up" kinda day! :o)
OMG!I'm not sure I can count that high, LOL! But, that said, I do believe opposites attract, which might explain so much of this subject. I've known many men who were turned into azzholes by the actions & talk of their wives, as well as the other way around. Some of our friends we care enough about one spouse to put up with the antics of the other spouse. With others, the obnoxious spouse is just too unbearable so we don't like seeing them very often. At. All.
ReplyDeleteHaving said that, we are the only couple still married to the same person after 33 years. Our friends have been re-married, but we love them enough to put up with almost anything from their current spouses.
I'm totally with Nicole! I say what I feel & see no need to tiptoe around spouses who probably won't be around for long anyway. I just tell them to get over themselves & if they can't handle it then they aren't really my friend. Friends allow some leeway for friends to occasionally misbehave or stick their footsies in their mouths, right?
Life truly is too short to sweat the small stuff.
Hmm, for me it's usually "why is SHE going out with HIM?" Some people just settle for less.
ReplyDeleteI have said that. But I have also said "the husband is such an a$$" and his wife is so sweet and nice! I have a friend whose husband is horrible. I am convinced she has spend the better part of her married life being super sweet to counteract his rudeness ;-) xoxo
ReplyDeleteYes yes yes! There are some great guys out there with the worst women in their lives...wives, girlfriends, fiancees.
ReplyDeleteIt really does work both ways trust me!!
ReplyDeleteI have a Luxurious New Giveaway on my site....Come and enter!!
Xoxo
Karena
Art by Karena
I'm with LPC and you are not evil my dear big sis!
ReplyDeletekHm
We have friends like this--it's so weird.
ReplyDeleteHow many times have I thought about this? Hmmm, more times than I care to remember....
ReplyDeleteI am sure I have thought this same thing before. How often? I couldn't say. It's just as likely that I'd love the wife but wonder about the husband.
ReplyDeleteI've definitely seen both sides of the coin. Some people like being walked on? HA!
ReplyDeleteI have MANY sisters and let me just be the first to say that women are difficult. However, I have a sis with a @$$-hole for a husband. On the other hand, I have a sister who is a ***** with a boyfriend who is AMAZING!! People say that I am difficult and demanding... but I think i'm worth the drama I create for my Bf. His life would be so boring without my Tirades!!!!
ReplyDelete